Even as a lifelong New Yorker, I approach pizza with an open mind. Traveling, I will stop at any pizzeria where I can spot the oven from the counter and order by the slice. Still, any location beyond New York City labeling itself the 'Pizza Capital of the United States' crosses a line into blasphemy. Connecticut amplified its outlandish boast last weekend by greenlighting a custom 'Pizza State' license plate. This ranks as the gravest insult to pizza tradition since Chicago began peddling its deep-dish stew as legitimate pie.

Let's examine the plate design closely - we all sense the stakes. The 'Pizza State' version echoes the standard Connecticut plate's blue-to-white gradient. The bold new nickname supplants the official 'Constitution State' slogan below the registration number. Off to the right sits a cartoonish pizza slice, pulled straight from vintage Microsoft ClipArt - a flat, uninspired rendering that bears no resemblance to New Haven's iconic apizza. Motorists in Connecticut can snag one for $65.

A Pizza Battle with Real Benefits

The standout positive here is how the 'Pizza State' plate fights hunger in Connecticut. Per reports from CT Insider, the $28.6 billion state budget passed by lawmakers last weekend - which enabled the plate - also allocated funds to Connecticut Foodshare. This major food bank stands to gain $50 from every $65 plate sold, helping distribute millions of no-cost meals to those facing food insecurity.

Returning to the core pizza rivalry: Governor Ned Lamont officially crowned Connecticut the nation's pizza capital earlier in 2024 to boost tourism and local pride. In centuries past, such a claim might have ignited actual warfare between states, but those days are gone. Connecticut should stick to its UConn fandom and quiet commuter vibes before New York retaliates by turning Greenwich into the next forgotten outpost.