ByBATYA L. LUDMAN

JULY 5, 2026 09:27

While composing this piece, I find myself aboard a flight back to Israel following a ten-day stay in the United States.

The journeys planned to visit our children last August were scrapped after my husband passed away, and later, due to timing issues, I had to request a fresh passport. Consequently, this outing marked the initial occasion in nearly two years that I had departed the country, an action I always approach with some reluctance.

This outing also represented the first instance I had traveled solo in over two decades. Much has shifted since that period, both personally and within the realm of aviation.

Two decades earlier I devoted one week each month across four straight months taking linking flights, nearly a full day from start to finish, to see my father after his cancer diagnosis. Because of this, I felt lucky to remain with him until the end.

I grin now recalling the single trip I made by myself, as my husband and I passed each other midair. He unexpectedly elevated my seat to business class using his loyalty points. Feeling like Cinderella heading out, I remained in my spot on the aircraft for the opening twenty minutes attempting to locate the display screen and figure out its operation. The last thing I desired was to question the attendant and expose my lack of knowledge, admitting I had no clue where it might be.

With seats in business class arranged in isolated pods providing maximum seclusion so neighbors could not view one another (or their screens), I recalled that typically on a plane I would spend twelve hours observing the cartoon aircraft trace its route on the map. I also remember being unsure where the tray was concealed, yet when food came, Gloria, the attentive attendant, activated a control and the surface emerged. Quickly setting the plastic utensils on the crisp white cloth, I received my sealed kosher meal.

Thus now, twenty years on, I was again traveling alone yet this time in a digital setting of screens and limited personal interaction.

I faced numerous preparations ahead of the week of departure. Renewing my passport, reserving flights for suitable dates and hours, obtaining coverage and currency, arranging transport, locating the luggage in storage, and countless other duties proved more demanding than expected. While emulating my husband with increased thanks for everything he handled, I hoped he had provided thorough instructions so I would recall what I might overlook.

Without anyone noting that I had overpacked, and without assistance managing the arrangements before and during travel, this journey was, for the first occasion in many years, fully under my control.

Facing numerous initial experiences and mild unease, I chose to view this voyage as a test, a chance to remain present in the moment (avoiding the uncertainties, as I advise my clients), and proceed gradually.

As someone who excels at creating lists and favors dividing duties into smaller parts, I mentally marked completing the airport arrival, boarding the aircraft, disembarking, and ultimately reaching my goal.

The youthful side of me felt strengthened as I recognized in my latest Cinderella experience that I was capable and succeeded. This occasion, I reduced my burden, both in weight and in spirit.

Visit aimed at assisting with new granddaughter

The goal of my travel was, essentially, to aid with my two-week-old granddaughter, her two siblings during breaks between school and camp, and to offer their tired parents some relief. I held minimal expectations, intending not to rush about but instead to savor this time for meaningful connection after a challenging period.

After residing in Israel for over twenty-five years, I continue to long for my Sundays. I now would enjoy two. With two straight days free from duties, one can ease pace, unwind, and share moments with family. Often undervalued, this proves vital for mental and bodily health.

Picture gaining more tranquility, easing daily stresses, decreasing irritation, allowing greater output during the week, all while relishing time to simply exist and meet relatives or explore the country.

This represents a benefit worth pursuing. For those who believe Friday off equates to a Sunday, it does not.

This journey also underscored the value of family ties. With restricted face-to-face meetings owing to health concerns, conflicts, and separation, despite the time gap, we aim to connect several times weekly, plus regular notes.

I question if those who, regrettably, maintain minimal contact realize what they forgo. I suspect not.

Often, across the years, I have assisted pairs and families facing discord - whether parent and child, siblings, or partners.

For those with little communication, I encourage checking if they have truly exerted full effort to mend their bond.

As you reflect on your connections, consider: If upset with someone, how long do you wish to stay upset - hours, a day, a week, longer? What is required to set aside past issues and advance? Life passes quickly, and now you can opt to seek harmony before chances fade. Avoid letting it slip away.

Observing family interactions with an infant proves intriguing. I notice in the household both fatigue and teamwork, along with the remarkable balance that stems from open dialogue. It demands effort. How does each individual in a relationship contribute to shared goodwill when prior strains may leave reserves low?

Finally, as I returned and we started our approach in the early hours, I wondered what five aspects I appreciate from the prior day.

In no set sequence:

I appreciate a largely relaxed stay where I could fully enjoy my children and grandchildren without outings, gatherings, or the strain of constant movement.

I appreciate the wonder of new life - the tiniest perfect fingers and feet, the contented expressions, the intervals of rest - even when untimely, and the natural calm from cradling an infant.

I appreciate the surrounding natural splendor. The mild weather, the towering trees, the clean air and scenes of families sharing outdoor moments.

I appreciate access to updates, yet often not instantly. I had time to restore my energy. News of each loss still affects me deeply, but distance from alerts and sounds offers a short period to ease tension.

I value the many local messages of support for Israel and the Israeli flags visible in numerous homes.

Yet above all, during our descent, I felt deeply thankful to be returning, since for me, no location compares to Israel.

The writer is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Ra'anana and coauthor of The Jewish Journey through Loss: From Death to Healing (Koren Publishers). She has written about psychology in The Jerusalem Post since 2000 and specializes in trauma, loss, grief, and bereavement.

batyaludman@gmail.com; drbatyaludman.com