Almost four decades ago a leaner version of myself crossed into the Israeli Security Zone in southern Lebanon together with my Givati platoon. We carried the most advanced combat gear available at that time.

As the platoon medic I shouldered not only my rifle helmet flak jacket ammunition and grenades but also extensive medical supplies anti-mine footwear and a portable stretcher.

Every patrol briefing before we crossed the border concluded with the familiar refrain that our task was to shield the northern communities from Hezbollah threats.

The twenty-year-old I once was would have found it hard to imagine that nearly four decades later I would stand in the same territory repeating the same objective. The lack of progress remains disheartening.

I now watch young soldiers in my PALMAR medical extraction unit who are barely older than I was on that first deployment. The prospect that they might still be here in another forty years is sobering.

After reenlisting following the October 7 attacks and becoming the oldest combat medic in the IDF I never expected to remain on emergency duty nearly three years later with Hamas still present in Gaza and Hezbollah still dominant in Lebanon despite its losses.

The sensation of lying in ambush in Lebanon always resembled a game of chance.

While waiting for hours in hostile territory the dominant question was whether Hezbollah fighters would attempt to cross into Israel that night and cause death and damage.

Today troops experience a comparable tension wondering whether they will face the unresolved threat of fiber-optic FPV explosive drones.

I attended my first military funeral during that period. The sight of purple berets and grieving family members remains vivid. Experts call this a reverse-order death because parents should not bury their children.

The pattern continues as we lose outstanding personnel each week. As the songwriter noted only the good die young. This does not include the many wounded fighters our unit treats daily whose futures have been permanently altered. All for what purpose?

We appear unable to conclude conflicts successfully. As noted by Matti Friedman victory requires a defined strategic aim. Hezbollah remains embedded throughout Lebanese life and we lack a clear picture of success.

The northern region has stayed largely empty since October 7. Tens of thousands of residents still cannot or will not return. The grinding conflict shows no sign of ending.

Israel stands alone as the nation its partners prevent from achieving victory. If winning remains forbidden what is the point of continuing?

The writer currently posted in Lebanon serves as the oldest combat medic in the IDF. His recent book Heroes of Palmar How One IDF Unit Revolutionized Combat Medicine in Gaza can be found on Amazon and through Gefen Publishers.