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During my childhood my sisters and I never experienced family vacations or thrilling journeys. My mother could not drive and my father spent the week traveling for sales work. Our idea of an outing was a Saturday trip to the supermarket once he returned home, and on rare occasions the pharmacy as well.

That routine felt ordinary and we accepted it without complaint. Still I possessed a lively imagination and often pictured myself boarding flights to distant cities such as Paris Rome or even farther destinations.

Upon reaching adulthood I vowed to travel extensively with a passport filled with stamps from many countries.

Money was always tight

Life soon took a different path. I married at twenty to my beloved partner who also lacked savings. Our first travels came through acting jobs that took us across the South for dinner theater and later to the Northeast for children's productions.

After our five children arrived travel plans were set aside. Choosing between diapers and a trip to Bermuda left no real option. Hopes for faraway places were postponed once more. Occasional envy surfaced when better-off friends visited Disney World repeatedly or skied in Colorado. Careful budgeting helped yet music lessons and other priorities consumed resources leaving little margin.

Our children explored independently

In their teenage years the children gained chances to travel through school and music programs. Sheridan performed across Europe with the Philadelphia Youth Orchestra. Rose lived as an exchange student in Thailand. Julie journeyed through eleven nations at eighteen. Pride filled me as they earned funds for these trips and I began to picture modest travel for myself.

Once the children left home I started freelance writing. My regular salary covered household needs while writing income funded postponed journeys. Over the past decade we visited Europe five times and Asia once including my great-grandmother's birthplace in Ireland and my daughter-in-law's relatives in Taiwan.

Travel brought unexpected guilt

These trips brought the joy I anticipated yet guilt followed. I wondered why we could not have managed an Alaskan cruise or time in Barcelona or even brief days at Disney. Regret began to overshadow the pleasure. Although our adult children never voiced complaints about their childhood I carried enough regret for everyone.

Recently a broader perspective has eased that feeling. The children discovered the world on their own terms which may have enriched their experiences. They appear pleased that my husband and I are traveling now. The past cannot be changed and our finances will always reflect earlier constraints.

I see that my children share my curiosity about the world and they take pride in pursuing their own goals. My mother spoke often of visiting Dublin and Honolulu yet never reached either. Approaching seventy I recognize how brief life can be. It feels right to claim remaining opportunities to witness more of this remarkable planet.

Our fiftieth anniversary approaches and I am planning stays in Portugal along with camel rides across the Sahara filled with anticipation thankfulness and without lingering guilt.