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Prior to becoming a parent, I never realized that first birthday events for infants were common practice.

Once peers began raising families, invitations arrived for their children's milestone celebrations. The details often included catering options and registries for presents, which struck me as quite elaborate and unexpected.

While respecting that each household sets its own customs, I preferred a distinct approach for ours.

Expectations build quickly for new mothers and fathers

Online platforms make it seem required to stage announcement images, reveal events, showers, and maternity portraits during pregnancy. This leads up to an over-the-top first birthday with elaborate themes and a flawless cake for smashing.

I avoided all such events.

Concerned about waste from single-use items, I focused on pre-owned baby supplies rather than new registries. A handful of casual photos captured my pregnancy without professional staging.

After the birth, the urge for events remained absent

Skipping pre-birth festivities felt acceptable as the expectant individual. Yet the child's first birthday centers on the little one, sparking some internal conflict over skipping a party.

Shortly after starting daycare, my son brought home inexpensive toys and thank-you notes from classmates' events.

Approaching the date, relatives inquired about plans. The daycare director even asked. I responded by questioning if skipping it made us poor parents. She reassured me that they backed whatever level of festivity we chose.

Planning felt like an added burden amid daily demands

My husband and I skip gifts and gatherings for our birthdays. Many occasions now emphasize buying over personal bonds, which we aim to avoid modeling.

With a full schedule as a working parent - juggling family, partnership, home tasks, job, and personal time - arranging a big event seemed like extra work without personal reward.

Single-use items at such parties also concern me due to landfill impact. Parenting already brings excess belongings, and those small gifts often went unused.

We selected an option that held value for our situation

Rather than host an event the child would forget, we opted for a meaningful experience we would cherish.

Pre-baby, we savored upscale meals. With our son, restaurant visits lack the prior calm. Lacking nearby relatives, we had no solo evenings since his arrival. For the birthday, we arranged our first sitter and enjoyed a couple's night out. Our son received a pureed special meal of tender steak, given his limited teeth at the time.

We dined at a starred establishment for a quiet evening. This allowed reflection on our evolving partnership and shared growth as parents.

Share your views on typical parenting ideas by contacting the editor at jgoldblatt@insider.com.