My husband assumed the CEO position at my company after thoughtful deliberation.
I mastered the art of releasing control, trusting my husband, and surrendering results.
Our marriage thrived despite the business's expansion struggles.

"You know... your husband has been ready to serve as CEO," a trusted executive team advisor remarked directly in a meeting.

I laughed.

It was March 2020. I had just revealed a persistent vision that had haunted me for months: I would no longer lead Kingdom Driven Entrepreneur, the company I launched almost eight years prior, or perhaps even longer. The frustration stemmed from lacking an obvious successor and uncertainty about transition planning.

My husband, Phil, was nowhere on my list of candidates. He thrived in his massage therapy practice and cherished it. His involvement in my business was limited to offering a sympathetic ear and sage advice.

Yet, in that meeting, after my laughter subsided, I recognized the advisor's words - surprising as they were - held real potential.

I shared the exchange with Phil, and we chuckled together. He conceded it was feasible but insisted on full certainty before committing. I chose to pray, release the idea, and observe developments.

By September, following a chain of remarkable confirming events, he accepted the CEO role starting November. I shifted to executive advisor, while we remained co-owners.

The complexities of transition

Accepting my diminished decision-making authority was not initially difficult. In fact, it brought relief. But around six months in, the shift grew challenging.

Phil's priorities diverged from mine. His skills and leadership approach differed entirely. His pace for decisions and execution was slower than accustomed.

These traits held no surprises, given our partnership since age 16 and over a decade running separate entrepreneurial ventures full-time. I knew and appreciated his strengths and our contrasts, yet adapting to them as leader of "my baby" - now a multi-six-figure revenue enterprise - demanded effort.

I repeatedly reaffirmed my boundaries. When founder impulses surged, I learned to voice input thoughtfully to Phil, without resentment if he diverged or delayed.

Challenges extended beyond roles; financial pressures surfaced. Weaknesses in operations gradually emerged. The business had relied heavily on my founder-CEO contributions, leaving voids. To scale for greater global reach, transformations were essential for us both.

I learned to let go

The revenue downturn was tough to accept, especially unable to intervene directly with the team. My focus turned to writing, speaking, and advising.

I committed to trusting Phil's unique gifts in leadership. I released outcomes, however uneasy. These decisions repeated frequently.

Shedding my founder-CEO identity took years, involving candid weekly discussions with Phil, occasional emotional talks with advisors, and abundant prayer.

Our relationship today is stronger

Our 26-year marriage remains imperfect yet markedly stronger, with an unshakeable friendship.

We have honed conflict resolution amid disagreements. Phil now welcomes my perspectives, weighs them deliberately, and advances per his judgment. I have embraced releasing good opportunities for greater ones.

Reflecting on the past five years post-transition, Phil noted, "We built muscles." I concur fully. Operating a business as spouses has demanded active faith and steadfast endurance. No one else I would prefer for this journey.

Shae Bynes is an author, speaker, and executive advisor aiding small business CEOs in achieving results without compromising priorities.