This as-told-to essay draws from a discussion with Lena Koropey, 48, whose mother received an Alzheimer's diagnosis. Koropey's mother lives with her now, yet Koropey intends to construct an ADU behind the house and relocate into it. The discussion was trimmed for brevity and clarity.

My mother received her Alzheimer's diagnosis a decade ago, and her symptoms have advanced slowly. Each passing year brings added challenges.

As a Ukrainian American, I grew up with the expectation that relatives support one another through illness. Although a full-time aide assists my mother daily, I coordinate all aspects of her care because she expressed that preference years ago.

This arrangement continues a pattern in our family. When my grandparents fell ill, my mother relocated to their Long Island residence and handled their care alone. I feel fortunate to offer her the same support.

In 2020, following an extended search, I acquired a house for the two of us in Mattituck on Long Island's North Fork. Childhood visits to my grandparents there left lasting impressions, and I had long hoped to settle in the area.

The location offers convenient access to my job in New York City while remaining familiar to my mother, making the choice feel natural.

The move eastward has enhanced her daily experience. She stays active and now enjoys greater freedom to stroll outdoors, appreciate the surroundings, and remain secure in a calm setting.

We intend to add an ADU behind the house

I spent 550000 dollars on the three-bedroom, two-bath ranch. The bedrooms serve my mother, her caregiver, and myself.

Although the home measures roughly 1300 square feet, its single level simplifies movement for my mother. A fenced yard further ensures her safety.

The half-acre lot proved most valuable because it provides room to adapt as needs evolve.

I have examined multiple future options through detailed planning, including construction of a cottage or ADU, relocation to another property, or, if necessary, a care facility.

We have settled on building the ADU. After completion I will occupy the new unit, allowing my mother to stay in the main house with her caregiver.

Constructing an ADU involves many steps

The project has required years of preparation because it resembles building an entire residence. Zoning rules, permits, and the existing septic system all demand attention.

We have consulted architects and contractors. Ground has not yet been broken, but current plans call for a 750-square-foot structure containing two bedrooms and one bath.

Accessibility remains central to the design. The unit will sit close to grade with few steps and will meet ADA standards so that doorways, hallways, and the bath can accommodate a wheelchair and allow caregiver assistance.

The undertaking represents a substantial commitment. Construction is projected at roughly 550 dollars per square foot, totaling about 450000 dollars. Experience shows such estimates often rise.

Despite the cost, keeping everyone on one property offers benefits that are difficult to quantify, including continued family connection and mutual support.

No arrangement is ideal, yet this fits our situation

Supporting a parent with a serious condition creates both physical and emotional demands. Families simply respond as best they can.

Some relatives select a care facility and report good outcomes. Others, including me, prefer to support aging in place.

Working as a real estate agent, I notice more clients preparing for these choices well ahead of time. Certain families acquire multi-unit buildings to keep relatives nearby. Others seek larger apartments that can later house a caregiver.

Builders increasingly incorporate separate wings or cottages into new homes for this purpose.

My mother and I share a close bond. She has been my closest confidante and provided extensive support during my upbringing. I am thankful to fulfill her desire to stay among loved ones.

While no solution is flawless, the property allows us to adjust living arrangements as her condition changes and to keep her at home for the longest possible time.