This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kathy Davidson, 61, who has raised two of her grandsons in North Carolina since they were born. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

I brought up three children, two girls and a boy. My son and older daughter are doing well and working hard. After leaving my ex I met the man I am married to now. We have been married for 26 years.

I worked in construction and hotel housekeeping. I have done many jobs. I used to work with my uncle laying bricks and painting houses. I hurt my back and shoulder at work in 2015, and now I am on disability. I have been on a limited income since then, earning $997 a month, and it has been very hard.

My husband works as an electrician, and he is 66. He earns $18 an hour, which comes to about $615 a week after taxes.

I have custody of my two grandsons

My younger daughter was born three months early. She got into modeling and at a competition with 4,000 women she placed in the top 10. She was doing well until my husband lost his daughter to cancer. She left my house by the time she was 18.

She had two boys, who are 11 and 8, and they were both born with medical issues. I started taking care of the older boy when he was five months old. He was found in unsafe conditions and was not healthy. His mom went to jail and wrote out a paper giving me custody that was notarized, but it took time because she was reluctant to give him up. At three the court gave me custody of him. I got the younger one straight out of the hospital.

When I finally got custody the judge decided that their mom would have no visitation.

We did not consider foster care when we got them. My husband decided that we would take them in because he raised two of his kids by himself. He helped me raise my own.

We cannot do whatever we want anymore

We used to go wherever we wanted and now we cannot. We look for things we can do without breaking the budget. We have taken the boys hiking and camping, the activities I grew up doing, and they love it. Their grandpa has spoiled them in whatever way he can.

We did not get child support until six months ago, and we receive $236 a month now for each boy through the state. It is not much but it helps pay for a few things they need, and we set aside some of it in their savings accounts for college. My parents and my aunt help me out with birthdays and holidays. My mom gives each of them $20 a month, and I do not let them spend it. They put it in their piggy banks.

We pay $1,050 a month in rent, and the power is included, but it took everything to come up with that amount. I would do some housekeeping for a friend's mom to make extra money to buy clothes, and the church we go to has a clothing bank. One of their mom's past boyfriends is still around and will help the boys out and spend time with them.

I have tried to raise them as well as I can. I told them that first of all you do not lie. I put this into their heads. I put them in timeout and take their phones often. My husband is more lenient on them but I have decided to be tougher. It is important to discipline them while they are young. I have also encouraged them to work for everything they want.

I have also learned to listen to them. The boys will sometimes stand their ground but other times they will tell on themselves. It is important to work with them and hear them out.

I am very proud of my grandchildren

I am very proud of the boys and they know it. They both are on the autism spectrum and the older one has Tourette's and ADHD. Both made it onto the honor roll. The older one is getting ready for middle school and gets some extra help at school. He is very quiet and it took him until last year to start making friends. I am scared of what will happen when he gets to middle school.

It took some time for him to get more confident. He believes he is not smart because kids in his class say so. I told him he is capable of going to college and having a future. I need him to believe that he can do whatever he wants but he has to really want to do it. He has a journal where he writes down what he wants to do and the steps he has to take to get there.

My husband and I try to set aside as much as possible to get them what they want like gaming systems even though they know it is hard for us. We do not lie to them about our finances. We know the boys make sacrifices and they should not have to. They should be able to be children.

It is just as hard on the grandkids as on the grandparents. They feel their parents do not love them. They go through a lot of emotions.